One night I got this idea that the things I say are so inheriently stupid that they should be written down. So here's some of my quotes, of course I can't write down all the stupid things I say- that'd just be too mcuh to read. And some or somewhat profound sometimes... I guess... whatever.


"i think i already know more than everyone else about radios, thank you." -7/20

"i should start saving these little quotes of stupidity of mine, some day, they'll be priceless." -7/20

"question, when you say "indeed"...do you try to make it come off as a sinister forshadowing of dark things to come? because I sure as hell do." -7/20

"if you're truly seeking truth, you'll find it where it is." -7/25

"mochabobjava: its up to you. I can not make the descision on whether or not being a teenage lover of a sixty year-old smelly, lunatic english teacher is a good thing for you or not
mochabobjava: only you can make that descision
narcotic c0w: i'll sleep on it
mochabobjava: ewww'
narcotic c0w: ..." -7/25

"ahhh... so many words can be substiuted with ass, it's a beautiful thing" -7/25

"If there was a little pig running around and I just tore off a chunk of flesh form its back and started eating it, I imagine it would taste and feel the same as this spam." -7/25

"narcotic c0w: but she reeeally reeaally wants to make love to an indian, i don't know what to do
beefywheel1: no she doesnt bastard
narcotic c0w: HttChck4: I'm kinda lonely, what i really need is a big strong indian to give me sweet luv'n
narcotic c0w: *nodding knowlingly*
beefywheel1: holy sh!t your serious!!!!!!!1
beefywheel1: let me talk to her" -7/27
(ok, so that wasn't my stupidity, but it still cracks me up)

"narcotic c0w: you know, i wouldn't be against stabbing a canadian with a fishpen, i mean, it's the same concept as the dead fish beating really.
Fallingcow: Headline reads "Canadian Killed By Dollar Store Pen" -8/05

"narcotic c0w: working on the old hardrive... hooked up a 56k modem to it but still looking for somewhere to plug it in (if it still works that is)
Fallingcow: hahaha
narcotic c0w: this is like... technology from 1995, it's very tricky
Fallingcow: So true
narcotic c0w: kind of like that one movie...
Fallingcow: ???
narcotic c0w: you know the one.
Fallingcow: No, I don't.
narcotic c0w: that one where they have to use old technology... to.. uhh.. save the world or something because the new technology... went... bad and ... maybe I'm thinking of the matrix.
Fallingcow: Space Cowboys?
narcotic c0w: that too, only replace *old technology* with *old people*
Fallingcow: Johnny Mnuemonic?
narcotic c0w: sure, that too
Fallingcow: Er... I have no idea.
narcotic c0w: it's really a combination of all those...
Fallingcow: Hm....
narcotic c0w: i should make an intelligent "pi" like movie about it...
Fallingcow: Hm...
Fallingcow: Like, where someone discovers an cache of old hardware, learns to use it, and then uses it to defeat "the Man"?
narcotic c0w: that too
Fallingcow: Hm...
narcotic c0w: or rememer in Titan AE where they don't have that swank ship anymore so they have to repair that old crappy ship to get to that one place and that Lit music plays... it's kinda like that
Fallingcow: Right.
Fallingcow: Except with fewer spaceships.
narcotic c0w: and I don't have some hot chick helping me
narcotic c0w: (unless...)
narcotic c0w: i do have the Lit music playing
Fallingcow: Or that Simpsons episode where Bob steals the Wright Flyer and the fighter jet can't stop it because it's going so damn slow.
narcotic c0w: IM IN OVER MY HEAD LLALAalalALALAaa
narcotic c0w: yes, only I'm not trying to kill any clowns
narcotic c0w: ....yet.
Fallingcow: This raises an interesting question... which would help you more: Hot chick, or bear?
narcotic c0w: well what's to say the two can't be mixed, like a hot chick in a bear suit, or with a bear shirt on... or a female bear that by bear standards is very good looking
Fallingcow: OooOOOoo" -8/06

"If you're so good at being a lesbian, why are you turning me on?" -6/02

(1:30 in the morning)
narcotic c0w: im bored, i need to go find my bebe gun...
(later that night)
narcotic c0w: I couldn't find my bebe gun so then I made some spaghetti-Os... it's just not the same
Sugarcoated64: yeah, i'd say that's a big diff
narcotic c0w: ones tastier, that's for sure. -8/14

"you are gonna feel so stupid when i cut off my own asshole" -9/02

narcotic c0w: bread? thats what walmarts for.
Sassysweets86: i know but at wal mart u cant get a sticky and kinky while makin it
narcotic c0w: no, see, that's where you're wrong." -9/03

Juz says: i wish my family didn't hide all the good food from me, that's why im serious when i call it "the hunt"
Josheb The Mighty says: well it will only make you more skilled in the ways of hunting
Juz says: indeed, they won't be prepared for the apocolypse, however i will be skilled and crafty in the ancient ways.
Juz says: ALL SHALL PERISH BUT MYSELF.
Josheb The Mighty says: I MUST PEE O GREAT WARRIOR!
Josheb The Mighty says: I SHALL RETURN WITH A PAIR OF BREASTS IN MY HANDS AND AN EMPTY BLADDER IN MY GUT!
Juz says: MAY THE GODS GRANT YOU MAGNIFICENT URINATION

narcotic c0w: the "thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters" thing...
Fallingcow: So, their people, like their beverages, are mostly bad, but those that are not are exceptional and, moreover, acceptable...
narcotic c0w: right, just change the monkeys with typewriters example to 1000 monkeys having sex for 1000 years, and one of them gives birth to jack black
Fallingcow: Exactly.
narcotic c0w: sometimes the monkeys get it right
Fallingcow: You win, my friend. You win. A true diamond in the rough. Polar Bear diamond at that. (ask her about Polar Bear diamonds, I bet she's heard of them...)
narcotic c0w: I know, I should really be congratulated for finding the jack black monkey baby of the canadians." -9/12

narcotic c0w: and you can't have 2 different AXE scents. That's the wrongest thing i've ever heard.
ChessmastrWithee: other than going to Homecoming with a Canadian??
narcotic c0w: ...
narcotic c0w: damnit.
narcotic c0w: ok, but it's still very wrong
ChessmastrWithee: mwahahaha" -9/20

WorldIsAtMyFeet: oh well
WorldIsAtMyFeet: free sex if you ever REALLY need it.
WorldIsAtMyFeet: right?
narcotic c0w: i guess
narcotic c0w: it's always good to have that, not neccessarily to use it, it's like self destruct buttons and ejection seats.
WorldIsAtMyFeet: yeah exactly. just in case everything else goes horribly wrong
narcotic c0w: right, the analogy here being that I'm flying a stealth bomber, and I'm captured by Iraq, and rather than let them get a hold of the technology I hit the self destruct and eject.
WorldIsAtMyFeet: Yeah because if they got your technology then they'd be able to send a big bomb and blow us up or something.
narcotic c0w: right. the perfect analogy.

All Quotes are Copywrited and sole property of Justin Anderson. 2002.