This was written by myself, and Aaron and Ashley from my Drama Class, we'll be performing it pretty soon, Im playing Chippetto. Of course it's not as funny without me doing my italian voice, and well... uhhh... maybe it only makes sense in our minds.
Pinochobott 2002
Pinochobott
Chippetto
Bill Gatea
Windey-ows
The Love Bug
Help Icon
Narrator
Scene 1
Narrator -
There was a man, a rather smart man named Chippetto
Chippetto - AAAAAYE, my name is Chippetto
Narrator -
He created a Robot named Pinochohott
Chippetto - I’ve tried to get a woman, but no one wants me, but I still want a boy!
Narrator -
Thus Pinochobott was created!
Chippetto - I now have a boy! I will call him Pi… Pino… PINOCHOBOTT!!
[phone rings, Chippetto picks it up]
Bill Gatea - Hello, my name is Bill Gatea, I am calling about the robot
Chippetto - AAYe
Bill Gatea - Well?
Chippeto - It’s going good!
Bill Gatea - Good work
[hangs up the phone]
[Chippetto goes back to work]
Chippetto - I’m right, this is going good, I’m doing great, just a little more, uhhh perfect- He’s sooooo good looking [pulling Pinochobott up to situp] Just a flip of the switch! [Reaching behind his ear] There we go! He’s so good looking.
Pinochobott - [makes weird noises, suddenley stops] [looks around] Where am… where am I? [looks at his hands] What am I?
Chipetto - You’re Pinochobott, you’re my son.
Pinochobott - PaPa!
Chippetto - Yes!
Pinochobott - PaPa!
Chippetto - What?!
Pinochobott - Papa Papa!
Chippetto - Oh I get it, son son! [They smile and hug]
---End of Scene---
Scene 2
[Pinochobott is sitting on a rock on stage right and help icon is standing nest to him having a conversation]
Pinochobott - Why am I here?
Help Icon - By choice not of yours do you inherit the freedoms of this world.
Pinochobott - Why?
Help Icon - Because that is the way of things.
Pinochobott - Does my father love me or am I just here because he created me?!
Help Icon - Always look in your hard-drive. [prances off the left stage] [Pinochobott runs behind her]
Pinochobott - but what does that mean, what does that meeeeeeean??
---End of Scene---
Scene 3
[Pinochobott is de-activated and Chipetto activates him up]
Chipetto - [taps Pinochobott on the shoulder] Wake up son, time to go to work in the factory!
Pinochobott - [stands up] Factory? Whaaa?
Chipetto - Go now, I am your Papa and I said work in the factory- now go!
Pinochobott - OK Papa, whatever you say [walks off stage]
Chipetto - Now that’s a good android! [phone rings] [chipetto answers] AAAYE, Welcome to Chippetto’s hard robot labor force!
Bill Gatea - Whatever, where is the robot?
Chippetto - Ahh, you mean Pinochobott?!
Bill Gatea - I guess, where is Pinochobott?
Chippetto - He’s working in the factory
Bill Gatea - Oh, well how much was he?
Chippetto - excuse me?
Bill Gatea - You heard me, I didn’t stutter
Chippetto - Oh, ok more money than you can shake a stick at.
Bill Gatea - How much are you selling him for?
Chippetto - Pinochobott is not for sale, I have other plans for him.
Bill Gatea - Well ok, you need to treat him better [hangs up]
Chippetto - Well that went well, aye.
---End of Scene---
Scene 4
[Bill Gatea’s Office] [Love Bug walks in stage right]
Love Bug - I got your message, it sounded important so I came as soon as possible.
Bill Gatea - Important. Yes. We have a situation with artificial intelligence industry of the North American Alliance, also known as A.I.I.N.A.A. An upstart company in Milwaukee has developed a new android of superior intelligence and design which could threaten the monopoly of the A.I.I.N.A.A.
Love Bug - And what do you want me to do about this?
Bill Gatea - Well you don’t have to do anything about it Love Bug, but this new android is far more SEXY in design and workings then you are… but you don’t have to do aaaaanything about it.
Love Bug - What do you want me to do?
Bill Gatea - It’s simple, bring Pinochobott to me, or destroy him. [people in the back go DUN DUN DUUUUN]
---End of Scene---
Scene 5
[Pinochobott is working in the facotry] [Help Icon prances in the factory]
Pinochobott - Oh you frightened me! Why did you leave me that day?
Help Icon - Because… My help guide imagry oscillator went on the edge of destruction.
Pinochobott - …ok. …I do not like doing this, my father is not nice, I don’t think he loves me!
Help Icon - Do not worry and do not fear, the path is a long and narrow!
Pinochobott - I think my path is a rocky path.
Help Icon - You worry too much, let your CPU be your internal thinking process and your network control tactile sensation be your touch.
Pinochobott - Now what does that mean?
[Windeyows comes in from left stage and interrupts there conversation]
Windeyows - [Windyows starts walking and then sees Pinochobott and looks him up and down] I feel like my thinking process has expired because I am in love!
Pinochobott - Excuse me, I am shocked.
Help Icon - This endeavor will end in your favor! [prances off stage]
Pinochobott - [Chasing her] But you didn’t answer my question [puts his hand up] Man, she always does that to me.
Windeyows - Excuse me, who was she? Are you fancying somebody else?!
Pinochobott - Who are you? I don’t even know you, and by the way, she is my help Icon! [sits down in chair looking sad]
Windeyows - What’s the matter?
Pinochobott - She always leaves me when I have a question about what she tells me.
---End of Scene---
Scene 6
[Windeyows and Pinochobott are holding hands and talking]
Windeyows - Pinochobott I am so happy we are together, it was love at first site!
Pinochobott - Yea. Sure.
Windeyows - Now that we’re together you can meet my parents and help my friend move and help me pick out desktop fashion accessories and we can go to the mall and then go to the beach and there’s this new movie coming out and we can watch it together and you can have an image of me so you can see my face constantly and then… and then… and then…
Pinochobott - uhh… ok. [Love Bugs enters stage left]
Love Bug - You have been invited to come to my .com palace! [hands them invitations]
Pinochobott - yeah… thanks.
Windeyows - Thank you, let’s read it together, it’ll be fun! [Pinochobott and Windeyows exits left stage and Love Bug exits right stage]
---End of Scene---
Scene 7
[Pinochobott is sitting on a rock on stage right having a conversation with Help Icon]
Pinochobott - I got invited to a party for tomorrow!
Help Icon - The perpetual landscape of the party must be intuned to your mode of your network
Pinochobott - uhh… are you asking it is? Because I don’t know, some guy came up and gave me and Windeyows an invitation to the .com palace
Help Icon - This palace is the panal to corruption and…
Pinochobott - You don’t want me to go, why?
Help Icon - Because it will enter you into a plain of destructive portocals!
Pinochobott - Ok, I promise I won’t go.
Help Icon - now you’re on the path of least resistance [prances off left stage] [Pinochobott stands up and walks around]
Pinochobott - I’ve known her all my android life and I still don’t get her. [walks off right stage]
---End of Scene---
Scene 7
Windeyows - What do you mean you can’t go, why not?
Pinochobott - Because I promised my Help Icon that I wouldn’t go
Windeyows - Pinochobott you’ve gotta go, it’s a big part of our life for everyone to come to the palace and see us together and see what a great couple we are!
Pinochobott - [sighs] But my Help Icon cannot find out.
Windeyows - Yes you’re going! [hugs Pinochobott] I heart you! I’ll see you tonight! [walks off stage left]
Pinochobott - What am I going to do? [holding his head] [walks off right stage]
---End of Scene---
Scene 8
[They are at the .com Palace]
Windeyows - Are you having fun my soft nugget of wiring?
Pinochobott - Yeeeeeah, I am having a blast [he starts doing the robot dance]
BANG
[Love Bug slams door open and does sexy walk to them]
Love Bug - hahahhaa you are mine Pinochobott, You’re mine, you’re all mine! I am going to do things to you that will blow your circuits!
Pinochobott - Blow my circuits, what? Who are you?
Love Bug - I am the Love Bug, and the A.I.I.N.A.A. isn’t big enough for the two of us! [Bill Gatea trips onto stage, adjusts glasses]
Bill Gatea - You will be destroyed Pinochobott, and I will keep my A.I.I.N.A.A. monopoly intact! [Windeyows comes up and grabs Pinochobott]
Windeyows - come on you sweet hunka metal, Run!
Love Bug - After them you fools! [Henchmen run after them]
---End of Scene---
Scene 9
[Pinochobott is at home working in the factory] [Help Icon prances in]
Pinochobott - Can I help you?
Help Icon - How are the internal working of your tactile sensation? What did you do last night? [Pinochobott looks up and pauses]
Pinochobott - uhh.. nuthin. [pauses again] [antenna grows]
Help Icon - Well what did you do last night?
Pinochobott - Oh nothing much or important, just worked, yea that’s right, just worked in the factory [antenna grows]
Help Icon - Your ram is running dry, you’ve corrupted your database.
Pinochobott - No, why do you say that?
Help Icon - Your networking sensory is faulty, you’re approaching your half-life, this will spell a very bad end.
Pinochobott - Yes my antenna is growing.
---End of Scene---
Scene 10
[Chippetto is in his kitchen cooking]
Chipetto - mmm, that’s a spicy meat-a-ball! [Bill Gatea enters from stage left]
Bill Gatea - Quickly Chippetto, you must come with me, your son has been taken by the love bug!
Chipetto - whaaa? My son?
Bill Gatea - yes, my associate and I will help find him, come to my headquarters immediarly!
Chipetto - okay, I’m coming with you, but first, try this spaghetti! [both exit from stage left]
End of Scene
Scene 11
[Pinochobott is in the factory, picks up a letter addressed to him, reads outloud]
Pinochobott - :WE HAVE TAKEN YOUR FATHER, IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN, COME TO THE .COM DOCK POSTHASTE: Papa! [leaves stage left]
End of Scene
Scene 12
[.com docks] [Pinochobott sees Love Bug and Bill Gatea and approaches them]
Pinochobott - What have you done to my father?!
Bill Gatea - Surrender yourself and your parts or be prepared to be eaten…
Love Bug - BY THE BIG MECHANICAL WHAAAAAALE!
Pinochobott - This must be the rocky path my help icon told me about [help icon prances in]
Help Icon - I sad your path would be long and narrow [prances off stage right]
Bill Gatea - Time’s up, now you will meet your fate at the hands of…
Love Bug - THE BIG MECHANICAL WHAAAAALE! [Pinochobott thrown off stage left]
End of Scene
Scene 13
[inside the whale, Chippetto is still cooking]
Chipetto - aaaaye, that’s a spicier meat-a-ball
Pinochobott - Papa! I’ve come to save you!
Chippetto - but first try the spaghetti, it’s fantastic.
Pinochobott - Not right now Papa, I know how to get out!
Chipetto - aye?
Pinochobott - Hook me up to this whale robot’s USB port, I can shut it down using the goodness of my hard-drive. [hooks up to USB port]
SYSTEM ERROR, SHUT DOWN IN PROGRESS
Chipetto - You did it Pinochobott, you saved us from the mechanical whale, and you are soooo good looking.
Pinochobott - My path has been long and narrow and rocky but I have overcome and learned that it doesn’t matter if you’re an android, it’s what’s in your hard-drive that counts.
THE END